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09/29/2006
I'm back
My show is now up and running. I am back to being at home on a regular basis, and will now return to my self-indulgent semi-poignant ramblings.
We made it through this stint without actually having to take The Pickle to day-care, and although it has been a significant strain on the relationship with the MIL, the wife's stability at work, and the overall cleanliness of the house - it looks like we are going to avoid and early entry into snot-fest '06.
It's not even that I didn't think that day-care would not have significant positive effects or that it wasn't a really solid place for infant care, it's just that I don’t trust anyone with my baby.
I know that no one has the same instincts or understanding of The Pickle's needs and routine. That's not a judgment on anyone. It is a fact. I just have trouble accepting that her comfort has to be sacrificed to enable other people to have time with her.
I know there's more to it than that, but it is often my first reaction when I see people making what I generally refer to as 'rookie' mistakes. I need to let other people learn about The Pickle to make it possible for them to give the proper care to her.
How to get experience without a job, and how to get a job without experience, or in this case how to get experienced childcare without working your child over.
I know that this is just the beginning. Someday I am going to be expected to stand in an aisle and hand her off like a lace wrapped football to some Joe Shmoe who wants a tax-break and regular sex from her.
It's just such an awkward process. It is my job to prepare my child to eventually care for and provide for herself. Yet at this moment it is solely my job to protect, provide, and care for her. The question is: when does that transition begin? When do we start sacrificing our child's comfort for their development?
I think the answer is birth. I just don’t like it very much.
I don’t want anything to hurt her. I don’t want her to have one moment of discomfort more than inevitable. But Inevitable is a funny word. Inevitable. Inevitable.
She just had her first real cold.
I have learned from personal experience that cold medicines don’t heal you - they just cover up the symptoms. I have twice ended up with pneumonia in my life due to my body being so filled with cold medicines it no longer knew it was sick and decided to stop fighting. My brother has a house full of kids that have been pumped full of antibiotics from the time they were hours old that they have never bothered to develop immune systems and are constantly sick.
Over the last three days I have fought through crying, snot, sleeplessness, and coughing to let my daughter's body learn how to fight a cold.
I need to learn to do the same thing with her being as I have done with her body. But it is not easy.
Pickle’s Papa
15:27 Posted in Pickle Ponderings | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this
Comments
Yeah, it's tough, but for what it's worth I think you've been handling the transition well.
You are one of the world's most inflexible souls and yet you have managed to (grudgingly) change and evolve according to your role as father and according to the pickle's needs. That's a big thing and you should be proud of yourself.
P.S. I'm sorry, but WHO exactly has been fighting through the majority of the crying, snot, sleeplessness and coughing?
Ahem.
Posted by: Lumi (Pickle's Mama) | 09/29/2006
Ok, first to have your spouse support you publicly...! You are off to a great start!
second: To have your spouse smack you down publicly...!!! OUCH!
Posted by: dennis | 10/02/2006
Oh the "when do you let them go" dilemma.
I say NEVER! I'm gonna bind Spudly so he doesnt get any bigger and cant reach the door handles.
I dont want him to grow up and have Other People to deal with, people who dont think he is the best baby EVER and dont know exactly how he likes to be held or when to bounce him around or where he likes being tickled. But damn him if he isnt already wanting to be on the floor more than in my arms. Must get onto that binding pronto...
Posted by: Panda | 10/04/2006