. . . and then there was pickle.

YEAH !!!!!

It’s my fiftieth post – Yeah!!!!

And it’s a loo loo.

On vacation The Pickle was submerged in Sunscreen, Surf, and Swimming Pool. For those of you who were not aware: infant girls do, in fact, have vaginas - and they are apparently not yet as completely Ph balanced as a pool.

Several days after our return I noticed a certain redness and swelling in her nether-regions if you will. Upon closer inspection I discerned that there was what I determined to either be a caked on residual collection of Butt-Paste (truly mis-named at this moment) or the white trade-mark trail of my daughter’s first yeast infection.

Yeah!!!

The on-call nurse recommended a wipe-out of the afore mentioned ‘Hoo-Ha’ with a moist wash cloth and the suspension of all wet-wipe and butt-paste usage. In two days the redness and swelling had disappeared.

Last night The Pickle had a fairly rough night of . . . not sleeping. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable. I thought it was the Icelandic conditions that my wife had created with an over-ambitious air-conditioning attack on our recent heat wave, but low and behold that was not the cause.

She finally went to sleep at about 8:30 am and slept until 12:30ish. I was fairly certain that by then she had made a run at her diaper, and I went for the change as soon as she awoke.


Have you ever seen something that makes you uncontrollably utter the words, ". . oh my god. . . "?

The diaper was filled with a unique green ooze that had apparently come from my daughter’s cooter. My suspicion was confirmed when I went to lift her legs over her head to wipe her off . . . it was like popping a zit.

Picture the biggest white-head you’ve ever had - not a gusher, a slow oozer. Yellow and pasty.

Not to mention we were all, wife in tow, soon at the pediatrician’s office.

They were kind enough to swab the diaper, which I brought with me – perhaps some day to end up in a medical museum of some grotesque nature.

But the bad news was that they needed to catheterize the poor little girl to get a clean sample of her urine to rule out the possibility of a urinary tract infection as the cause of her symptoms.

No Good.

I had to hold her down as the nurse rammed a plastic tube up into her bladder. This has not been my favorite day of parenthood.

The good news is that it is most likely an external issue caused by exposure to chlorine, salt water, and sunscreen – we have our ointment, instructions and humility in tact as we face the horror that has become my daughter’s privates.

Yeah!!!

Pickle’s Papa